Dr. Navtej Kohli Blog

The Ranks of a Hospital by Navtej Kohli

Surgeon:

• Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
• Is more productive than a train
• Is faster than a speeding bullet
• Walks on water
• Talks with God

Internist:

• Leaps short buildings in a single bound
• Is more powerful than a switch engine
• Is faster than a speeding BB
• Walks on water if the sea is calm
• Talks with God if special request is approved

General Practitioner:

• Leaps short buildings with a running start and favorable winds
• Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
• Nurse Practitioners
• Can fire a speeding bullet
• Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
• Is occasionally addressed by God

Resident:

• Barely clears a picket fence
• Loses tug-of-war with a train
• Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury
• Swims well
• Talks with animals

Intern:

• Makes high skid marks on a wall when trying to leap buildings
• Is run over by a train
• Is not issued ammunition
• Dog paddles
• Talks to walls

Medical Student:

• Runs into buildings
• Recognizes a train 2 out of 3 times
• Wets himself with a water pistol
• Cannot stay afloat without a life preserver
• Mumbles to himself

Nurse:

• Lifts buildings and walks under them
• Kicks trains off the track
• Catches speeding bullets with her teeth and eats them
• Freezes water with a single glance
• The Nurse IS God!!!!

Duh!
Though at certain parts my understanding failed :(, but it wasn’t that bad either, what say?

Medical is a serious business, But Navtej Kohli is always game for tickling that funny bone…

Here comes another hysterical joke on Navtej Kohli Blog!

TRING!!  TRING!!

Recording - “Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.”

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn’t matter which number you press. No one will answer.

Navtej Kohli tells a brilliant joke about a Deaf husband who mistook his wife for deaf

A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be. What should I do?” The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure.

When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.”

The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner. He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?” He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again. Still no response, so he moves to five feet. still no answer. Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”

So, is your wife hard of hearing? Try this test

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A man who had died suddenly in his sleep awakened to find himself in heaven. Being disoriented but curious, he began to walk around taking in the wondrous sights. he marveled at the pearly gates, as well as the streets paved with gold. After a while he felt hungry and asked one of the other occupants where he might find something to eat and was directed to the cafeteria. When he arrived he found a line a mile long and took his place at the end.

The line was progressing very slowly when a limo pulled up in front and discharged a man with a great beard and carrying two stone tablets who went in ahead of everyone else. The fellow became angry and tapped the person in front of him on the shoulder and asked who is that? The person in front of him replied that it was Moses the bringer of law. This satisfied the fellow for the present.

A short while later another limo pulled up and discharged a fellow wearing robes and carrying a staff who also went in ahead of the rest. The fellow again was irritated and asked the person in front of him who that arrival was, and was told that it was St. Jerome a patriarch and very important! This also satisfied the fellow for a short time.

After a time a sports car pulled up in front and a man carrying a black bag went in ahead of the rest, which infuriated the poor fellow who asked in exasperation, just who the hell is that? This time the line answered in unison, “Oh, that’s God, but he thinks he is a doctor!”

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Being a part of Medical Industry Navtej Kohli knows that laughter is the best medicine. Now even a cat scan and lab test on your dog can cost a fortune. See how this lady got a hole drilled in her pocket

A woman told the vet that something was wrong with her dog. He examined the animal and told her the dog was dead.

“I don’t believe you”, she said, “I’d like a second opinion”

The vet said that would be fine. He went into the other room and got a cat. He put the cat up on the table with the dog. The cat sniffed the dog and jumped down. The vet then got a black lab, put him on the table and the lab sniffed and jumped down.

The vet tells the lady again, “I’m sorry, but your dog is definitely dead. That will be $600 for the exam.”

“$600 is ridiculous, what are the charges for?” she exclaimed.

“$600 is a bargain,” the vet explained. “$50 for me and only $550 for the cat scan and lab work.”

Navtej Kohli still recalls his first visit to the dentist. I think most of us do!

This funny cartoon on Navtej Kohli blog goes well with this famous quote by Ogden Nash:

Some tortures are physical
And some are mental,
But the one that is both
Is dental.

A neighbour of a newly wed couple was worried when she didn’t hear her rather noisey neighbours for a while. A few days later, she peered through their letterbox and through the windows. But there was no sign of anyone. Concerned for the young couple, she called the police. The officers promptly broke down the door, then searched the house. Only to find the young women gagged and tied to the bed. Her husband was lying unconscious on the floor, wearing a Superman Outfit. They later explain that they had been engaged in a superhero role-playing fantasy, and the costumed husband had knocked himself out attempting to jump onto his wife from atop the dresser. Of course, the woman was unable to help him!

A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

A 63 year old widow was admitted to the hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a foetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body.

Once during a complete physical exxam, including the visual acuity test. a patient was placed twenty feet from the chart and began, “Cover your right eye with your hand.” He read the 20/20 line perfectly. “Now your left.” Again, a flawless read. “Now both,”. There was silence. He couldn’t even read the large E on the top line. The doctor turned and discovered that he had done exactly what was asked; he was standing there with both his eyes covered.

by Navtej Kohli

Dr. Navtej Kohli blog is back with another sarcastic bit of medical humor.

POOR RAT

Navtej Kohli tells another laughable piece of medical humor on this Dr. Navtej Kohli blog. Read and enjoy…

TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY

1. Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
2. Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?
3. Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!
4. Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!
5. Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie
6. Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
7. “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”
8. Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
9. “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, he’s got two of’em
10. What do you mean “You want a divorce?”

Navtej Kohli cracks one more hilarious gag that will tickle your ribs for sure!

A famous psychiatrist told his wife: “I feel down today, I am going to see my colleague.”

Wife: ” But! you are the best psychiatrist, aren’t you?”

Psychiatrist: ” Yes! I know! But my colleague charges less than I do!”